Oh, the holidays…

The Vampire Cowboys are very funny people. This is their Holiday card.

I think in these times, I need to laugh more than anything.  That and brain candy.  I am 199 pages into Chuck Klosterman’s Killing Yourself to Live: A True Story.  He is traveling to the sites of the demise of great (and not so great) rock stars.  I probably shouldn’t find this to be candy, but I do.  I have to buy a new copy because I had to give mine as a stolen gift for the Ma-Yi Writers Lab’s 2008 Yankee trade.  We could only use stolen gifts.  I stole it from my friend Lloyd.  Sorry, Lloyd.

In these times it’s hard to know what to get people for the holidays too.  I was just given a Trader Joe’s gift card, which I think I’m very grateful for.  I know I’ll be eating.  Well.  Thank you, L&M.

Ching-chong

But, color me shocked to say that, I got ching-chonged in class today.

So, in my other life, I am a teaching artist in schools around the city.   At just about every corner of this wide and beautiful city, to almost every last stop of every subway train.  Schools showered with accolades and citywide attention and schools that are more ignored, but children everywhere.  I’ll also say that because I’ve never liked formality, I have usually asked them to call me Carla.  But, I’ll bend to the culture of a school and that the one I went to today, they use Mr. _____ and Ms. ______, so I obliged them.

But, color me shocked to say that, I got ching-chonged in class today.

“Everyone, can we all say thank you to Ms. Ching for doing this workshop with–”

“Ms. Ching-chong.  Ching-chong.”

“What did you say?”

Sigh.

I haven’t heard that in a long time.  A very very long time.  Which given my name, I guess surprises me.  But, it’s New York.  It’s a pretty multicultural, pan-ethnic city.  It’s the US.  We’re still glowing because we elected Barack Obama president.  The man with midwestern and Kenyan roots, raised in Honolulu.  Come on.

Double sigh.

When I have heard homophobic, racist or misogynist comments come out of the mouths of high school kids, I let ’em have it.  Because they know better.  And because they can take it.

It is my gut reaction when I hear comments of this nature.  To let the other person have it.

He is a fourth grader.

He is mimicing things he’s heard without even knowing what they mean.  This is what I tell myself.  When it comes to children–actually, the big ones and the small ones–I am an eternal optimist and eternally patient.  The reverse of how I am with adults.  So I look at him steadily.  He is smiling.

“You know, when people say, ‘ching-chong, ching-chong,’ they are usually doing to to make fun of Chinese people.  Because they think the language sounds funny.  But, I don’t think you mean to make fun of me, do you?”

He looks at me with wide eyes and shakes his head.

“So, just Ms. Ching will be fine, thank you.”

“Are you Chinese?”  “Konichiwa!”  “Where are you from?  You look like one of those Los Angeles people?”  “I’m learning Chinese, I think it’s a beautiful language.”

And here comes the rainstorm of curious questions of young children who haven’t known a lot of people like me.  So I answer them in shotgun style, checking the clock on the wall to see if I can get to them all before the bell goes.

“Yes, I’m Chinese.”  “Konichiwa is Japanese.”  “Actually, that’s funny, I am from LA.”  “Chinese is beautiful and it’s super-hard, so it’s awesome that you’re learning it.”

And I close the class and thank them for working with me.

And the little boy who “ching-chonged” me walks over.  “I’m sorry,” he says.

“That’s alright,” I say.

I smiled at him to let him know it was okay.  He smiled back.

I charged off to my next class.

***

Oh, I should mention that this happened two other times in a different class.

“Ms. Ching-ching.  Ching-chinga-chinga–”

“Just once, thank you.  One Ching.  Ms. Ching.  That’s it.  Thank you.”

The Ma-Yi Writers Lab at the Asian American Writers Workshop

My compadres at the Ma-Yi Writers Lab have written a bunch of plays inspired by notable titles from the shelves of the Asian American Writers Workshop. There’s free ice cream and beer.  And the playwrights are doing the acting, so it should be some fun.

Fall 2008

Events this season sponsored by:
singha cicf
Singha Beer and The Chinatown Ice Cream Factory
Thursday, December 4, 7pm
An Evening with the Ma-Yi Writers’ Lab

Come for an exciting night of eleven short plays–all written between Thanksgiving and December 3rd just for you! The Workshop and the Ma-Yi Writers Lab have commissioned eleven Asian American playwrights to write short one-act plays using titles from the Workshop’s library for inspiration.Join the following members of Ma Yi, the largest collection of Asian American playwrights ever assembled, for an unpredictable night of theater: A. Rey Pamatmat, Nora Chau, Nandita Shenoy, Dustin Chinn, Eugene Oh, Mrinalini Kamath, Lloyd Suh, Qui Nguyen, Michi Barall, Patricia Jang and Jon Kern.

@ The Workshop
16 West 32nd Street, 10th Floor
(btwn Broadway & 5th Avenue)

$5 suggested donation; open to the public

Jury Duty

This is what they give you when you perform your civic duty.

You are told not to put it in the dishwasher unless you want a plain white mug.

Perhaps what I’ve gotten from jury duty is that you can lie, thieve and deceive people, but Johnny Law usually has his way. Because everybody gets sloppy.

I think I want to re-read Twelve Angry Men. I was in an all-female produuction of it in high school. And if my memory holds, this is really the same damned thing. Humanity crammed in a room to determine the fate of another human being. It is a beautiful if flawed system when the people weighing in on your fate are tired, hungry, either overworked to get to jury duty or starving because they can’t work because they are in said jury duty. Reading the paper, checking blackberries, taking a nap.

I listen to it all. I do. Because I hope someone would listen for me.


cluttered desks

have you seen these pictures of einstein’s desk?

it might make me feel a little better about the junkheap that is the left arm of my sofa which doubles as a desk.

have you seen these pictures of einstein’s desk?

it might make me feel a little better about the junkheap that is the left arm of my sofa which doubles as a desk.

assorted clutter:

some blank notebooks (gotten as gifts)
redacting tape (with the cartoon character pukka on it)
checkbooks
yearly planners from 2006, 2007 and 2008 (before i went digital)
a memory stick with the cap missing
an eyeliner pencil (rust)
the remote control to my mac
bills
more bills
old plane ticket stubs (united)
an old g-shock watch that needs a new band
various computer cords
post-its (yellow lined and purple, unlined)
a checklist
green sunglasses in a green case
gloves
a brown paper notebook from 2004
an unopened bottle of purple nail polish

the only thing missing is a half-eaten sandwich.

what’s on your desk?